The Quiet Earth
by CrazyWorldofMatt
Summary: What if you woke up…just to find out you were the last person on Earth…alone. What would you do? For one turtle, he's about to find out. Based on a Mixture of the 2003 Series (so stuff like Battle Nexus and such are mentioned) & the Live Action film universe (thus why their lair is an old subway, etc.)
1. Last Night of Peace

The Quiet Earth

Plot: What if you woke up…just to find out you were the last person on Earth…alone. What would you do? For one turtle, he's about to find out.

Chapter 1

It was like any other day. Nothing special. Trotting rooftop to rooftop, playing his own special role as the resident hothead. They had just stopped a small time burglary…nothing special.

Raphael searched over the noisy streets of New York. Appreciating the nightlife…and yet the deafening noises of cars screeching, crowds shouting, cabbies swearing, babies crying…it kind of took the beauty out of it. But it was nothing special. Same old, same old.

Raphael and Leonardo had gotten into another fight. Nothing big or major. It all seemed routine…what was it about this time?

"Raph you need to work a little bit more during training tomorrow…that cut could have gone deeper."

"Listen Fearless, it's all right. I got 'em, didn't I?"

With a huff, Leo whispered, "Raph…that's not the point."

Mikey and Donny looked at each other and rolled both of their eyes. Raph looked at them and couldn't help but do the same. They knew what was coming. Another fight, another argument. Nothing special.

"Leo could you please get off my ass this time? I don't need yet _another _lecture about this shit."

"Now Raph…."

"Okay and break," Mikey clapped his hands, getting in between the two brothers as they entered their home. "Don't make me put you both in the corner…at least get some boxing gloves or something. Make it official!"

Mikey beamed…and Raph couldn't help but smirk a little. Always the one to brighten their day,. And although he wouldn't admit it, Raph always appreciated it.

'_Not that I'd ever tell him that_', he harrumphed.

Donny stepped beside him and commented, "Perhaps we could pick up this enticing and intellectual conversation tomorrow? I mean we all need a rest. And Raph, please let me look at that cut before you go."

"I'm all right Brainiac, don't worry!" He hated it when he was treated like a baby.

"Yeah, Raphie's tough as nails, although not as sharp as o….owww!"

Mikey rubbed the backside of his head from Raph's little slap. Both narrowed eyes at each other, but in a playful way.

"Raph…I could always tranquilize you." Don's eyes narrowed at him, and Raph couldn't help but admit that a mad Donny can be a scary Donny. So he nodded and conceded.

Mikey couldn't help but snicker as Raph glared at him, before following Donny to his lab.

"Remember Raph, tomorrow training begins early," ordered Leo, stern face prompt and ready.

'_Just like always, nothing special_.'

"Yeah, yeah Fearless," Raph growled, following Donny as he patched and stitched his cut up pretty damn quickly.

"Not bad Donny-boy…I guess you're used to it considering all the shit I do. Heh"

Donny gave a little 'narrow of the eyes' as he shook his head.

"Not gonna lecture me Donny-boy…ya know like 'don't get hurt again' and shit?"

Donny was silent for a minute and shook his head 'no'.

"Thanks," Donny whispered, half grinning in a shy way.

"For what?" Raph was a little confused about that.

"For getting my back…it's why you got cut…cause of me." Donny scrunched his face a little bit, before feeling a quick, hard slap on his shoulder by the bigger turtle.

"Knock that shit off Donny. I got your back remember? Just like we all got each others. Sides…you've patched me up enough times that, well…" he just hunched his shoulders, indicating and yet not being able to say the precise words that should have followed.

'_You got my back, and I got yours…nothing special_.'

As the stitching got done, Raph got up to leave before Donny squeezed his shoulder, smiling at him.

'_Thanks_.'

Raph didn't have to hear Donny say it, he could see it in his eyes. The bigger turtle chuckled and rolled his own eyes.

"Yeah, all right brainiac, go catch some zzz's already. Ya know, before ya decide to kiss me or something."

"Raph!"

Raphael couldn't help but chuckle as Donny got frustrated and shook his head, looking like he was ready to throw something. The last thing he saw of Donny was a roll of the eyes and Donny saying "Oh yeah you're welcome…you know for the patching and…."

"Niiiight nerd-boy," Raph commented before closing the door.

He liked getting Donny riled up once in a while. That guy needed to get out of the lab more.

'Hey, Mikey ain't the only one who likes to rile up his brothers.'

Speaking of which…

There was Mikey, by Raphael's door. Raph couldn't help but smile. Not smirk, but a soft smile. He knew Mikey worried when any of them got sick or hurt. Even if it's a little scratch.

Mikey looked up to him in those soft, blue eyes.

"You okay Raphie?"

Rolling his eyes, Raph replied, "Of course Mikey it's just a scratch. Ain't nothing too it. Don't worry about it, ya little numbskull."

After rubbing his head, then giving him a thorough noogie, Mikey laughed and giggled his way out of it. Mikey looked at him and his smile faltered just a touch.

"You know that Leo just says stuff like that cause he doesn't like to see you hurt. We all don't want to see you hurt."

Mikey softly grabbed Raph's wrist.

"I don't wanna see you hurt, Raphie."

Shaking his head, Raph huffed, "Mikey calm the fuck down, will ya? It's just a scratch okay…a _scratch_! Nothing big, or major, or anything even remotely near that. So will you stop bugging me before I knock ya out?"

Mikey nodded then looked into his eyes, mischievously smiling.

_'Was that A challenge?_'

The bigger turtle nodded. Yep, he could read it in those blue eyes. Just like clockwork, nothing special or new…but Raphael couldn't help but smile.

"You knock me out? You knock out the Battle Nexus Champion? Yeah right Raphie-boy, I'd love to see that happen."

And with that Mikey stepped up to him…Raph smirked and stepped up until they were toe to toe.

"Okay ya little midget, when and where?"

"Right there Raphster. Living room. Tomorrow. 3 PM. Got it?" Mikey raised his hand up, beaming in a challenging way.

Raphael couldn't help but laugh as his baby bro's antics. Shaking his hand he declared.

"Hell yeah, you got it. It'll be a pleasure kicking your sorry shell all over dat living room hehe."

"Suuuree Raph. In your dreams."

As they shook their hands and released, they both parted ways getting ready for bed.

Before Raph closed his door, getting ready for his slumber, he heard:

"I'm glad you're okay though Raphie."

He turned around to see Mikey. Mikey, innocent and smiling like the sun. Raph shook his head, then nudged it towards Mikey's room.

"Go to bed ya idiot. See ya in the morning."

Mikey walked up and hugged Raph, as Raph hugged him back.

"Nite Raph," as Mikey beamed once more and headed to bed.

Raphael shook and rolled his eyes for what must have been the hundredth time.

_'Mikey always gets so damn sentimental at times._'

'_Sometimes I wish I could be like that…not that'd I'd ever tell him that. Even if I was the last man alive._'

As Raphael settled down for bed, yawning and getting ready for slumber. He mused over the happenings of the day.

As he slept, the same thought went through his head…same old, same old. Nothing special.

But when he woke up?


	2. Alone

Chapter II: Alone

Warning for language

Beep…Beep…Beep

"Fuckin' alarm," Raph drifted from his slumber, with a half-assed attempt at turning off the radio. With an extra amount of strength, he finally slammed it down on the alarm…killing the sound that ruined his wonderful sleep.

He rolled over in his sleep, staring up at the ceiling, before rolling his shell over and looking at the clock.

7:00 AM

Huh…a little weird. Usually someone woke him up before the alarm beeped off.

Sometimes it was Leo doing his stern 'I am leader, hear me roar' ass routine. Other times it was that lamebrain Mikey doing some damn trick.

Water dunked on his head, pouncing on his bed, make-up drawn on his face.

He had to admit, Mikey had some guts and courage at times. He silently thanked God or whatever for letting him sleep in. Maybe the others were still freaked out over that little, insignificant scratch.

'_Insignificant_?' Raphael had to smile to himself. Heh, Donny would probably be proud (and surprised) that he knew a big word like that.

_'Guess Donny's rubbing off on me.'_

As he rolled out of bed, he popped his joints into place. He searched over his scratch, not looking bad at all against the red light of the alarm clock radio. He grabbed his pads and bandanna, putting them into place as he opened the door.

_'Wonder how much of an ass Leo is going to be this morning.'_

Although it seems Leo let him sleep in a little bit for today, he figured the Fearless Leader would run him ragged in training runs.

'_Typical_,' Raph harrumphed.

But as he walked into the main room of the lair, a chill ran up his shell. He shivered, '_Where the fuck did THAT come from_?'

He shook it off, as he headed into the kitchen. When he opened it, he figured he'd see SOMEONE in there. Mikey with his head in a bowl of Raph's favorite cereal. Maybe Donny getting that caffeine trip in the morning, or Leo sipping that nasty tea of his. But nothing.

'_Damn, is everybody sleeping in today_?'

He smirked. '_Screw it, might as well not lift a gift horse in the mouth_.'

He decided to get a head start and beat Mikey to that cereal.

'_At least I know the little goombah ain't gonna eat all my stuff.'_

As he poured the cereal with some milk and dug in, that shivering feeling returned to his shell. He shoulders physically shook as he looked around, slowly taking in his surroundings.

'_Nerves. Damn nerves_.' That's what it had to be right? But why?

As he finished his cereal, cleaned the bowl, and put the dishes away…every few seconds he would keep looking at the door. Just waiting for SOMEONE to come in. He figured Leo would have been in here already…

He SHOULD have been in here already. Leo was many things, but late? '_No way in hell…something's up.'_

And that shiver went from his shell to his gut…twisting and turning a little inside.

He walked out of the kitchen, the lair deathly silent. No noises at all. This was seriously spooking him right the hell out. There were some mornings where the lair was somewhat peaceful, kinda tranquil, or a little bit quiet.

But never THIS silent.

Raph headed hurriedly towards Leo's door. Knocking on it at first, he waited for a response.

'_Nothing. What the fuck?'_

He pounded a little harder, then turned at the handle. Locked.

_'Damn it. Fuck it!' _

He didn't care if anyone was going to hear this or get scared by the sudden noise that was going to happen. This was spooking the shit out of him and he wanted it stopped. Now!

With one kick he obliterated Leonardo's door, and as he walked in his eyes widened at what he saw.

'_What the….'_

Nothing.

No one was in here…but wait. Wasn't the door locked from the inside? He wasn't as smart as Donatello, but…

_'Donny!'_

As he quickly paced over the dojo he began calling out names.

"Leo. Donny! Mikey! Master Splinter, anybody?"

He stood in front of Donatello's door, breaths hitching in his chest. Trying to calm down, he just kept thinking. 'Okay, just hold on. Wait a second. There's gotta be a reason for this.'

As he tried to open Donny's door, he silently thanked to whoever that the door wasn't locked. But as he entered, he wished to take back those silent thanks.

Donny was gone too.

"Donny, Donatello!" He searched through Don's lab, gazing quickly at all the equipment, wired, broken appliances, and papers scattered around. His eyes darted towards Don's bed. Empty…just like Leo's.

He marched out of Don's bed, his voice rising higher as his eyes darted in a panic across the lair.

"Donny, Leoooooo, Mikey! Listen! If this is some kind of sick joke, you better get our asses out here RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"

His breaths were getting more ragged, hoping that this was one of Mike's jokes or scams to quote 'take his mind off of what happened last night'.

'_MIKEY!'_

His breathing had become more erratic, as if he was going to go into a panic attack any second now.

'Damn I just might' as he slammed into Mikey's door, not even caring to knock or anything at all. Not even noticing that the door had been locked from the inside, his adrenaline pumping so much through his veins that the door felt like nothing more than cardboard.

He scanned the room, his head swerving up and down, left and right. He looked towards Mikey's bed.

Empty.

"GOD DAMNIT!"

What if the Foot had somehow gotten them, but how? His brain caught up with his adrenaline as his hands started shaking, trying to make himself breathe.

In, then out. In, then out.

As his legs swerved and his hands grabbed at Mikey's door frame, his brain registered that Mikey's door had also been locked from the inside. Just like Leo's.

'_How could they get out of the damn room with the fucking door locked!?'_

His eyes, like they had a mind of their own, were watering as he looked at Mikey's bed, his mind replaying the hauntingly eerie images of Leo and Donny's empty nests of slumber.

'The shell cells…what about the shell cells?' He mentally kicked himself for forgetting that piece of information.

"Raph you're a fucking idiot," he said to no one in particular.

Donatello had installed a new tracking device that, even if one of them were taken, could follow the destination as to where the guys were. Donny always was a brilliant…

He held up for a second. Did he just think Donny was? Was!?

'_No, Donny is…IS…brilliant. We've got each others back, and I ain't letting him down, I'm not letting anything of them down!'_

As he approached with a hint of hope, it quickly shot out of his gut as the shell cells were all there. They hadn't even been touched since the night before. Shit!

'_Wait…Master Splinter!'_

He now ran like a bat out of hell to the door that led into Splinter's domain, hearing his heart literally pounding through his chest, like it was going to punch out of his plastron any second.

He paused in front for a millisecond, praying to whoever or whatever listened that his Master was in there. That this was a huge practical joke for his benefit. That his family would be hiding in this room and pop out and say surprise. That Splinter was in there, waiting for him.

As he opened the door, his breath hitched in a choked sob that he couldn't engulf.

Empty.

"No. No! What the fuck is going on here?"

His hands were shaking as if he was having a seizure, his brain trying to think on the possibilities of the situation. Could the Foot have taken them somewhere, or maybe some other whack job that they had ran into in the past?

Raphael narrowed his eyes in pure hatred and vengeance.

'_That HAD to be it. Well they picked the WRONG family to fuck with_.'

If they hurt his family in any way, Raphael was going to make sure they all die slowly.

'April, Casey.' His shaking body hurried towards the phone booth of their subway lair, his fingers twitching as his breathing hitched and small swallows of saliva traveled down his throat. He couldn't dial the damn number right.

'_What would Leo do_?' His heart ached at the thought of his brother, the night before they had not parted on best terms. He'd never get a chance too…

'_No fuck that. Leo would say take it easy. Take it easy.' _

And Raph knew that Leo would say you had to think clear in the situation, let the mind flow so that the decisions can come easier for you. He had to admit he wished Leo was lecturing him about patience right about now.

He slammed the phone down, shutting his eyes tight and a mantra played in his mind over and over again.

'_Listen you asshole. You're going to calm the fuck down! You're going to dial this damn number! And then you're going to get your family back! GOT IT_!'

"Got it!" He said to himself out loud, not caring for the absurdity of talking to himself like this.

As he dialed the phone, his mind couldn't help but flash as to the whereabouts of his family. His eyes scanned the areas where his family members rooms were at…hoping that they were okay.

'_Yes_!' He silently praised as the number got in and the number rang.

And rang, and rang, and rang.

"Pick up. PICK UP GOD DAMMNIT!"

As the answering machine clicked on, he slammed the phone hard against the booth.

'Where the hell are April and Casey?'

He was pissed off that he couldn't protect his family, that his brothers and father could be picked off without him knowing about.

"Shit, shit, SHIT!"

With each word, he slammed the receiver harder until the top part broke off, snarling and tearing the phone booth apart. Before stomping out of the area, Raphael, with a veracious growl, grabbed the phone booth and furiously tipped it off. A loud crash echoed the quietness of the room.

His whole body was shaking, whispering to himself, "This can't be happening, this can't be happening."

He slammed his hand into the side of his leg, wincing at the pain as he took one last look around the lair.

"I'll find you guys. I swear I'll find ya. I promise."

Raphael gathered his gear…his weapons, his trench coat, essential items…as he started his journey…before he stopped.

Before the entrance/exit of the lair was Mikey's room. He slowly walked in and scanned the room, his eyes doing nothing but misting up at the fact that his family, along with his baby brother…his best friend…were taken from him. He walked over and grabbed a locket that hung over his bed. Mikey had told him it was his most prized possession, which had warmed Raphael's heart.

He opened the golden looking locket. It had a picture of all of them at the farm, smiling and being playful. Raphael had Mikey in a head lock, both wrestling away as Leo and Donny watched with grins on their faces. Raph had etched an inscription on the other side of the locket.

'BEST BUDS 4 LIFE…RAPHAEL'

Raphael had made this locket and written the inscription inside. He had saved his money for months and, with the help of Donatello, had helped him make it.

You couldn't wipe the smile of Mikey's face the entire week when Raph had given him the present for his 15th birthday. He thought Mikey would have hugged him to death by the time the week ended.

Then a wetness hit the locket, and he noticed that his bandanna was soaked. He was crying, tears trailing down his beak as he rubbed it away with his left hand.

With a stern look on his face, he strongly grasped the locket in his hands as he swore an oath. Right then and there.

"I will find you Mikey. I'll find you all and bring you back, even if it's the last thing I do."

He put the locket around his neck as he stormed out, weapons in hand, heading over to April and Casey's for help. As he marched in the sewers, shivers kept going through his body. They were getting harder and harder to control, as he kept trying to control his breathing before he hyperventilated.

Then he stopped stone cold. Something else was wrong. Something bigger.

He looked up through the sewer grates that hovered above them. He realized what made him stop.

The silence. It was way too damn silent…just like in the lair.

He hurried over to the ladder where the manhole hovered above. It was a manhole they had climbed up numerous times, leading to a dark alley where they could climb up to the roofs.

As light echoed through the manhole, he knew he'd have to be careful treading through in broad daylight. But as he lifted the manhole and peaked his head out, the shivers trembled through his entire body. And as he climbed out, he slowed his movements as he looked down into the alley. He senses kicked in as he climbed all the way out, dragging the manhole back to its' place as he stayed there.

He didn't move. He didn't even breathe.

Because even from watching in a dirty, crusty alleyway…he knew something was horribly wrong. And it was WAY bigger than he thought it would be.

Silence. That was why he was freaked. No it wasn't freaked. Scared. He was honestly scared out of his mind, so much that goosebumps covered his skin from head to toe.

His ears perked up to catch something. Anything. But he didn't hear any cars. He didn't hear any people.

'_What in the….'_

He didn't know why, but he stumbled forward toward the street that connected the alley.

Usually he would do the typical thing. Climb up the ladder, jump over the rooftops, stay in the shadows.

But today was not a typical day. \

And as he finally stepped into the street, his mouth dropped on its' own accord. His eyes watered uncontrollably as his breathing choked in and out of his lungs.

Like a zombie, Raph stumbled into the middle of the road.

Raphael, like a body without a mind and eyes widened like a frightened child, stepped up onto the nearest car and climbed onto its' roof, surveying the city. He scanned his eyes 360 degrees as he surveyed the once great city of New York City.

Only there were no traffic. There were no screaming babies, angry cabbies, noisy cars, or cussing strangers.

There were just empty cars with no one inside of them. Buildings were standing their like statues. Papers scurried about through the streets of the once heavily-crowded city. There were strollers with no babies inside them.

There was just New York. Silent…and dead.

And as Raphael's knees buckled, his breaths beginning to choke with sobs of unrelenting panic, he dropped down to his knees and fearfully grabbed the locket around his neck.

Holding it with both hands like a child holding a teddy bear, Raphael didn't know why or how he knew But his instincts kicked in and those horrible words came through his mouth.

"I'm alone. I'm all alone."

And with that last haunting sentence, Raphael broke down and cried.


	3. A Quiet Trek to April and Casey's

Chapter III: A Quiet Walk to April and Casey's

Raphael didn't know how long he stayed there…kneeling, pleading, crying, sobbing.

Was it hours? It felt like days, weeks, even years that he stayed on that spot. Raphael's head between his knees, drops of tears drying out over his beak. His chest huffing and puffing as his mind slowly worked its' way back from numbness.

With a slow stretch he got up…tumbling off of the roof of the car he had been sobbing on. Angrily, yet slowly, wiping away the tears, he looked down the long chasm of New York traffic. Like a zombie he strolled between cars, his body moving and waiting for his mind to catch up.

He had decided to continue his trek towards April and Casey's home. He didn't know why…logically it would have been futile. Ridiculous.

'_Big words…like Donny used to say_,' Raph squeezed his eyes shut tightly.

No! He would not think of his brothers in that way. He can't…he won't…believe that his brothers, his family were truly gone. His mind wouldn't be able to handle it. In the back part of his mind, that dark subject of past nightmares and realistic cynicism of the crappiness of every day life…he knew that he would some day or at some time have to deal with that horrible, nagging truth.

God help him that day.

As he walked through the silent pathway of empty cars and trucks, he automatically started taking off his disguise. He couldn't help but chuckle at the notion…'Guess there's no point in the disguise.'

That chuckle that rose scared him a little though…he bit it back almost at once, scared that any minute his mind would crack and his psyche would be thrown into the

stratosphere. As the fedora hat and trench coat hit the pavement, he couldn't help but gulp at the sites before him.

On his left he passed store after store. Toy stores, candy stores, stores of liquor and food.

People…kids…had gone their for moments of warmth and happiness.

'Never again,' Raph surmised.

On his right, tall buildings that some had marveled at its' construction…the ability of the growth of humans to have gone from apes to masters of the universe…so to speak. And now these once great buildings would be as useless as piles of paper. Still standing, and yet useless all the same.

Again he didn't know why he was still heading towards April and Casey's. Maybe false hope was better than no hope. He remembered one time a conversation he had with Mikey…

'_Mikey,' _Raphael shook his head violently before punching at the door of a nearby car.

Wincing he shouted and growled, cussing and screaming as the pain actually felt GOOD to him. He wanted to feel something, he didn't want this overwhelming numbness to last over his entire body.

As he squeezed his hand, the pain releasing endorphins in his brain to think clearly for a little while…he continued his long, lonesome trek through the silent lucidity of New York. What was he thinking about before…ah yes…Mikey.

He remembered one conversation he had with Mikey about what it'd be like to walk around in broad daylight. To go into any store they wanted, to breathe in the fresh air, and as Mikey put it to be able to go to any fast food place and get anything they wanted to eat.

Raphael couldn't help but laugh out loud at the memory. His laughs echoing the chasm of the empty streets, the only noise besides the rolling wind to fill the cityscape.

Raphael and Mikey had talked for hours about where they would go, what adventures they could embark on. Michelangelo was always telling Raph on how he, the great Mikey, would be like Indiana Jones and he'd let Raph tag along as his sidekick.

All Raph could do was say if Mikey could walk up top, he'd just get fat on sweets and be similar to the Pillsbury Doughboy. He then poked Mikey's side resulting a giggle from the orange banded brother, and Raphael just said that confirmed it, Mikey WAS the Doughboy. Of course Mikey took playful offense to that and both had rolled around, wrestling back and forth in a massive…

Raphael's left leg buckled as he dropped down to one knee…gulping his breath steadily at the nice memories that were being shoved into his brain.

This wasn't fair. This wasn't right. What should and could have been a great day in his life, to walk free and be free…that freedom that not only him but all his brothers deserved…were taken away from them. From him!

"You MOTHERFUCKERS!"

Raphael screamed, throwing a fist in the air. His right arm shaking, he clicked his teeth together, grinding them so that he wouldn't break down again.

Mikey deserved to be here. Leo deserved it. Donny and his Master Splinter deserved it.

"But no! You assholes somehow fucked it up didn't you. Didn't you! Why the FUCK is this happening!?" screeched Raphael, yelling at the top of his lungs as the only sounds were his echoes reaching through the heart of the city.

His limp form leaned against a bus standing in the middle of the street. Trying with all his might to take his mind off of this horrible nightmare, he looked over the insides of the cars, trucks, and cabs that were left empty.

Purses, scarfs, bits and pieces of clothing, cell phones and children's toys. He couldn't help but pause once in a while to look at them. There were wallets and keys, jewelry and pictures. Baby pictures. His heart melted to sorrow as his mind drifted to these people who were also gone. They had names, families, and children.

'_Kids…' _a phrase his father had said in mild annoyance to them from time to time. He searched through one wallet and found the picture of a little baby. Couldn't have been more than 2 months old.

He had actually talked to Leo about kids. Yeah you heard that right. Him and Leonardo had been in the kitchen, when they had overheard Mikey and Donny watching some science show in the living room. That was when Mikey had popped the question to Donatello.

'_Donny…would we be able to have kids?'_

The question had stunned Don, as well as Leo. But as Leo looked over at Raphael, Leo made a funny look of confusion at Raph's 'unshocked' face. Raphael had heard Mikey mention this to him before, and Raphael had told him he thought about it too.

Although if he told anyone he would pummel him, which got a giggle out of the baby bro.

But in that conversation, all Raphael could answer was a simple 'I don't know.'

As Leo continued staring at him, Raphael shocked him even more with a question of his own.

'_So what do ya think Fearless?'_

'_About what?'_

'_About what Mikey asked?'_

"_I….uh…'_

Raphael laughed at that memory of ole' Fearless himself, stuttering in embarrassment at the question before him.

'

_Well Leo…let me ask this. Would you want one?'_

Silence had engulfed the two turtles as Raphael figured what the answer would be…but his face then became the look of shock at Leo's reply.

'_Yeah…yeah, I think I would.'_

And Leo laughed at Raph's now shocked expression, before noticing a hint of…a smile?

Leo would have asked Raph's his thoughts on the subject, but that soft smile had spoken volumes. More so than words would ever have said.

Both had smiled together, sitting and talking casually the rest of that night. It was nice.

'_Was,' _Raphael flung the picture away, angry and yet comforted by these memories. He had realized he didn't know his big brother as much as he thought. It was comforting that night that his big brother, like all of them, were curious and somewhat hopeful. Hopeful for that 'one day' of 'what could have been'…even if it was a situation similar to their father, who had adopted them.

'_But no more I guess.'_

Something in his mind clicked in realization. Not only were there no people, but he hadn't seen any animal life as well. There were no rats in the sewers, no birds in the sky.

'_Damn, I'd be glad to see one of those annoying pigeons at least.'_

As he eyes searched the sky, his body shifting through the tomb-like cemetery called New York City, he finally arrived at his destination. The 2nd Time Around Shop, where Casey and April had lived upstairs.

Naked to the outside world, the wind ruffling his bandanna as the sun shined on his green skin, he slowly and carefully approached the shop. He knew he wouldn't find anything…and then again he didn't.

Yet again, false hope is better than no hope.

As he entered the shop, headed up the stairs, and opened the unlocked door to April and Casey's home…the hope fell away once again.

It was silent as all the rest. As horribly peaceful as this quiet earth he awoke too.

And as his body shifted throughout the apartment, he gazed at the pictures of April and Casey.

He had to admit, he at one point had a crush on April. He knew Don did too, through all his blushing and stuttering around her. Donny would have been good for April. Raphael couldn't help but chuckle out loud as he picked up the framed picture of April and Casey, arms around each other in front of a fair.

Casey was good for April too. They fit together well…and it would have been nice if they had a future together. Maybe they could have had a kid…

And a gut instinct through out from his gut to his arm as he through the picture against the wall, smashing it to pieces.

"Shit!" Raph hurried over and scooped up the remnants, cursing himself over and over again.

"Damnit, damnit, damnit. I'm sorry April and Casey, sorry bout that I'll get this fixed."

He hurried to their closet as he grabbed an empty frame and a garbage can. As he picked up the pieces of glass and wood from the frame, he tossed it into the garbage as he carefully and meticulously smoothed the photo. After all was said and done, he placed the photo into the brand new frame and placed it back on the mantle.

"There, good as new," he choked out.

Stumbling legs approached the fridge as he opened it…fumbling through he saw a glimmer in the back of the fridge. Curious, he pulled it out only to find it was a bottle of J & D Whiskey.

_'Casey's stash I take it.'_

Opening it like a child with a new toy, he sniffed the powerful aroma as he grabbed himself a shot glass from the kitchen cabinets. Placing his shell on the couch, he poured himself a glass and drank it down almost too fast, coughing and sputtering at the strong taste of the liquor.

As he filled a second glass, he grabbed the remote. Maybe, just maybe there could be an answer on the other end of this TV set.

Click…static…another flick and a click…static….and again, and again, and again.

"Nothing, fucking nothing. Heh what else if fucking new," he breathlessly whispered and chuckled to himself as he continued drinking through the shot glass.

Two turned to three, which turned to eight.

20 minutes later

As the empty bottle of J&D Whiskey dropped out of his hand, slurred words escaped from his mouth. Well, less words and more like laughter.

"This isssss perfect…f, fu, fuckin' perrrrfect."

"Hey Doonnny Boy….time fer ya to make dat machine to fixie all dis shit."

"C'mon Leo….don't talk to me like that….y, yo, youuuuu don't knooow what…uh who you messin' wit."

"Hey Mikey….Miiiiiikey!"

Raphael waited for an answer. But no one would reply.

"Miiikey," Raphael got up from his place on the couch, stumbling drunkenly from side to side searching the room for an occupant he'll never find.

"Come out, come out…wherever ye hic arrrrrre?" Raphael chuckled as he searched the room. As minutes passed his voice got louder and…more choked. More sad, and more worried.

"Come ooooon Mikey this isn't fuuuuny anymore? If you're gonna play by the rules….then you gotta…..you gotta…"

Choking and begging out for his baby brother, he slipped and fell on his shell…laid out in front of the doorway that led out of the apartment.

Before he passed out, words of realization and loss, of the truthfulness and confusion of the whole situation, passed from Raphael's lips.

"Why didn't cha take me…why'd ya leave me here…why? Why?"


	4. What to Do Now?

Chapter IV: What to Do Now?

Raphael woke up with a start. Sitting up way too fast, he winced as the makings of a hangover started to make its way through to his now pounding head. Stumbling as he got up, he was woozy…his body shifting back and forth as he made his way to the couch.

Head in hands, he took a full minute to realize just where the hell he was…shuddering as realization came into play.

"Shit," was all he could whisper.

As he mindlessly flipped the TV on, he was greeted once again with nothing. Hypnotized by the static of the television set, a thought kept popping in his head.

'_What to do now?'_

As his eyes glanced across the rows of pictures on the walls, memories of visits…birthdays and celebrations…chuckling softly to the thought of the only choice he had. Something he was used to doing.

Go out.

As he softy paddled his feet to the doorway, he looked over the apartment once more behind him. As if this was the last time he'd ever see it…as if he was burying a part of his family after closing this door.

'_Maybe I am.'_

Before he left he went to the closet and retrieved one of Casey's good ole' baseball bats.

'_Can never be too careful.'_

He also grabbed April's cell phone. He didn't know why…it just felt better to have it with him.

And with that he left and closed the door. The sound of that door closing signified it. No words were needed. It was a goodbye to April and Casey, forever.

As he shuffled his body down the flight of stairs, through the shop and unto the street, he kept remembering a conversation he had with Mikey.

He had asked the baby bro why he had looked up to him so much. Raph always thought it was strange and confusing to pick him, of all people, to look up to. The remembrance of Mikey's answer made Raph put a soft smile on his face.

"_Well Raph you are kinda fun, in that grumpy 'crazy as hell' kind of way."_

_He remember the sly smile on his baby brother's face, as Raph couldn't help but laugh at that._

"_But mainly…cause you never give up Raphie. It's like you're our secret weapon. We can be near death's door, crazy things can be going down…and yet you keep fighting. And that makes us not wanna give up. I just…always thought that was cool. Because it's like…you know…you make us think that there's always hope."_

_And that smile that Mikey beamed always warmed Raphael's heart._

Hope. Tears threatening to slide down once more, he squeezed them shut as he silently said to himself.

"Okay Mikey, I won't give up."

Looking into the empty sky, across the soundless valley of New York, he started his trek.

Walking from block to block, his stomach rumbled as he stumbled into a nearby restaurant. Searching through the fridges and freezers, he found a few snacks and bottles of both water and soda. He took a knapsack nearby and filled it with all sorts of food and drinks.

_'Hehe Mikey would have a field day with all this food.'_

He started off on foot, searching one building to the next. Throughout the day he searched one block then another, looking through all sorts of stores, restaurants, and apartments.

One was a electronics store, filled with the vast array of phones, stereos, and computers.

'_Donny would be in geek heaven with all this stuff,' _silently wishing his brainiac brother was here.

Don definitely would have had fun with all of this, softly smiling to that.

Continuing his search, he looked high and over going from one apartment to another.

Apartments both nice and crappy, clean and dirty…some were of single men and women, and others were the now empty remnants of a family lifestyle.

Raphael's thoughts couldn't help but float to who these people were. As pictures of old and young, family members in all sorts of happy poses…smiles floundering across the mass array of pictures…echoed from his eyes to his mind, his thoughts always kept going back to his own family.

Splinter gathering them up for story time, all of his brothers cuddling with each other as his father's soothing voice placed them into slumber.

Leo and him being playful when they were kids. Strong, eager games of hide and seek resulting giggles and laughter between the two.

Donny showing him how a certain machine worked. Raphael liking the manual labor as Donny became more and more fascinated with how it worked. The teases that had between each other during each of those trips in his lab.

And Mikey…well pretty much every moment with the little midget was memorable.

Clearing his throat, he kept thinking on what he could or should do next. This 'walking from block to block' stuff didn't seem to be doing much of anything. All he found was stone and glass, nothing living. Not even a single animal, hell not even any bugs.

Although he would be usually fond of that notion…now he wouldn't mind to see even one damn fly.

'_What the hell would Leo or Donny do? They're the smart ones.'_

He was growing more and more pissed off…the stress of the day growing more and more in his gut. Each look, each turn, each building he found more and more nothingness. His body was getting hotter, his mind becoming more and more frazzled. Standing at a crossway in the street, Casey's bat in hand…screw it!

With a roar he bashed the nearest car…like an animal Raphael began whipping the bat from one windshield to the other, glass flying across the pavement as his assault just grew and grew more violent. He turned his attentions from one car to the other, his violent interactions turning to glass storefronts, light posts, anything and everything that was breakable.

Yelling and cursing, he was letting loose. He wanted and needed this, to spend this unkempt energy festering in the bowels of his soul. Walking into an electronics store, he couldn't help but grin.

'_Fuck it. I'm going to have fun.'_

He knew this wasn't helping, and he knew that this didn't achieve anything. But he DID need this. With bat in hand, he smashed every damn computer screen he could see. TV's, VCR's, monitors, lights hanging off the ceiling…it was like a blue light special in which everything must go.

When he was done, bits and pieces of glass and debris littering the ground of the store, he stared and stood like a zombie, for a full minute doing not one single thing.

And then from inside the store, with a roar like no other, he threw the bat at the large glass window covering the front of the store. And with a loud crash that echoed the tomb-like nature of the city, the bat harmlessly stumbled onto the pavement. As Raphael slowly walked out, turning around and grunting at the damage of the demolition he achieved, he slowly picked up the baseball bat.

And with that…aggressions taken out for a good, a solid 10 minutes of bashing…reality crept his way back into his subconscious. Tired of walking, he smirked at a nearby car.

Donny, at one time, had taught him how to hotwire a car. Raphael remembered marveling at Donny about this, asking with hints of amusement just how in the hell Don knew about that. With blushes and shyness echoing his face, Donny stuttered and said he learned from experimenting.

Raphael softly smiled. Donny could always surprise him. He was quiet, but could have a solid sense of humor. An anger that rivaled even his own, and moments of wickedness that he seemed to only share with Raphael. He didn't know why, but maybe because Raph didn't make much of a big deal of it. He would smile, tease a little…but nothing much else. Raphael was always in awe of his brother's intellect, and his sweet nature made it so damn easy to just hang out with.

'_Donny deserved to win the fuckin' Nobel Prize of something…instead of being stuck in a damn sewer.'_

With a few tries he finally got the car to start. With a little smile he said to himself,

"Thanks Donny-boy."

And with the bat in the passenger's seat, he put the car into gear and pulled out. He guided the vehicle through the pathways of parked automobiles, as hour after hour passed by and light faded more and more.

When he needed to eat, he ate. When he needed to drink, he drank. When he needed to…you know…he did in whatever bathroom was nearby. Although honestly when it was number one, he just freely did it out in the open.

'_Not like anyone's watching,' _he mused bitterly and yet humorously.

An idea popped in his head. He remembered a movie Leo had made them watch. A survival story.

His older brother always made them watch those types of flicks…Leo just kept telling them on how 'this is how it should be done' and 'that is what honor's about', etc. and etc. But Raph hadn't minded it, he actually liked the movies his bro had picked out.

Him and Leo…actually liking the same thing...

Softly smiling at that, Raphael remembered that in one of those flicks, there was a guy was alone in a city. Much like he was now. The guy would paint on billboards. On it would be information like who he was, telling where to contact him, writing down phone numbers and such.

'Huh…Why not?'

Heading to a hardware store, he grabbed buckets of red paint and hefted them to the trunk of the car. He spent the rest of the day going from billboard to billboard. Sometimes he would just run from rooftop to rooftop, jumping over crevices with buckets of paint in hand. And each one read the same thing.

I Am A Survivor

Name: Raphael

Contact Me By Phone

555-4794

He would usually not want to get attention. What with the whole ninja 'we live in the shadows' lifestyle. But if someone notices him, anyone…

He used April's cell phone number…since he had…well trashed…the phone booth at home.

As the light started to dissipate he needed a place to stay. He didn't want to return home…he wasn't going to give up hope of finding out how this happened, where his family was…he didn't want to return to a home of empty ghosts and deathly silence.

There was a nearby department store…why now?

But before he settled down for rest…he figured why not do a little shopping? Grabbing a cart, he maneuvered through the store. Moving from department to department, he chucked in more food, cereals, drinks, and even headed to the DVD section.

Ooohhh how Mikey would envy him now? One stop shopping!

He didn't know if he was already going a little stir crazy, or it was just the fact his mind needed a little break…and a part of him didn't even care.

With the cart now over-filled with food and DVD's, he grabbed a few blankets and sleeping bags. Walking over to the wall of TV screens, with prices littered all around with promotions and savings, he opened up a DVD, putting one of them in. He didn't really care what it was, as long as it was some kind of noise to dissipate the horrible silence that filled the city all day.

He dumped the cart full of snacks, drinks, and DVD's in front of his sleeping bag. And curling up, he mindlessly watched one film after another, half paying attention and half lost in his own dull state. And finally he went to sleep.

As he woke up, he felt lazy and didn't wanna move. He decided to watch one movie then another, going through packages of DVDs as he stared longingly at April's cell phone.

As the hours went by, he decided this was enough for today. Getting up, he thought of visiting another site.

The Foot headquarters.

As Raphael drove, mind glazing over the silent surroundings and the knobs of the radio being turned…only to elicit static and more nothingness…he mused on how pointless most of those battles were.

'Here we were, trying to be good guys and save the world. Fighting the Foot, monsters, aliens…And for what? For everyone to disappear? What the fuck was the point of it all?'

He couldn't help but laugh out loud, and for some reason he couldn't stop laughing. The irony of it all, the ridiculousness and horribleness of the situation seemingly deteriorating his will to keep going on.

And as his laughter died down, he pulled up to the Foot Headquarters. Heading in, the towering building looked like everything else in this vacant city.

Dead.

Walking around…memories of past battles…him and his brothers being the 'heroes of the day' and shit. He was half suspecting some evil mastermind behind all of this. Some maniacal madman holding up at the Foot stronghold, saying as Mikey would put it 'James Bond wordiness' of taking over the world…blah blah.

But yet again, nothing. Raphael, weirdly enough, was more sad that there wasn't any madmen here.

At least it would make some semblance of sense. At least there would be some meaning.

Evacuating the headquarters he continued in his car…then he saw a lovely red Porsche. Slick, as if it hadn't been touched let alone driven. Raphael couldn't help but smirk as he put all of his baggage from one car to the other, hotwiring and firing it up.

He liked the sound of that engine. He roared through the city, the wind whipping through his face.

As he drove during the day, continuing like he did yesterday, it was hard for his mind to stay clear and calm. He knew he wasn't the most put together guy to start with…but as chokes of laugher escaped from his lips…he wasn't sure just how long his sanity could last.

As an evil smirk played on his face…he decided to have a little fun. With a swerve to the left he bucked against a parked car. And with a swerve to the right, he bashed into the front corner bumper of a truck.

The feel of adrenaline perked him as he pushed on the gas even more. Picking up speed, he started driving more violently.

As speed picked up, his swerving picked up. Sides of cars gritted with metal and sparks erupted, he crashed through fruit stands and fire hydrants.

He yelled out of the window, "Hey Mikey, you always said it'd be great to be a in real life car chase. Whoooo man you were soooo fuuuuucking riiiiiight!"

As the car went up the hill, he decided to do something crazy, stupid, and fun!

He sped up as fast as he could and then jumped out of the car, rolling away and watching the Porsche sore through the air and tumble.

Raphael watched in awe and fascination, whooping like a kid in a candy store as the car crashed over and over again. And as the gas spilled out, a spark erupted, and all of a sudden an explosion erupted.

"Oh shit!"

He ducked as the heat pressed into him. Instead of being horrified at the stupidity of what he had done, all he could do was whoop and cackle. Laughing at the audacity of it all.

As the flames licked the sky, smoke billowing into the heavens…Raphael walked by it marveling at his creation. He couldn't help but smirk and say,

"Ho-ly-Shit! Hehehe that was awesome! Damn you guys should have seen that!"

He turned around, almost half-suspecting someone to be there. Quickly pushing it away he continued walking and searching.

'_Hey it's like they say,_' Raphael thought with a half crazed, half 'mournful of his actions' look on his face,

_'Life sucks…then you die.'_


	5. Losing It

Chapter V - Losing It

Weeks….that's how long it had been since this first started.

As each morning came and gone, the lone turtle woke up…silently praying for a millisecond that everything had been a dream…some horrible nightmare that he was finally waking up from.

Or maybe a hallucination…the scheme of a madman or some 'typical' baddie that they'd have to dispatch once again…lord knows him and his brothers had been through such battles time and time again…throughout all the realities of mental, physical, spiritual, and mystical.

All Raphael could do is trek from one landmark to the other…hoping and praying with every breath that someone, anyone could talk to him. That his family could somehow be in this vacant metropolis.

He was basically living on scrap…candy bars and potato chips, old soda and the greatness of liquor. There were a few times where he just sat down on the curb of a street, looking on into the distance, and opening up a big ole' bottle of J & D Whiskey.

Sipping drop after drop…the nectar rolling down his throat as the taste helps him shiver in that good way.

'It's weird,' he thought, 'no birds…not even one fucking pigeon .'

He couldn't help but chuckle to himself…he was like most of New York citizens…tired of the annoying fowls chirping and crapping all over the place. It's weird how the things that annoy can be the ones you actually miss.

He was never one talk or have conversation. Usually it would be an assortment of grunts, complaints, or smart remarks. He chuckled sadly at the thought of his beloved baby brother, making him smile and talking his head off, always wanting to spark conversation with the red-banded turtle.

'God I wish you were here Mikey'

As a tear escaped his cheek he thought how weird it was that the turtle who never wanted to talk was now desperate for conversation…of any kind! He wished he could hear a lecture from Leo again, he'd welcome it insanely.

Or a preaching by Donnie on how one electronic gizmo worked or how the other techno doo-hickey turned on. Or Mikey's stupid joke after joke…he'd welcome it all with a smile, with never a complaint for the rest of his life.

He just wished someone could talk to him…oh how badly he wished someone would talk to him.

Throughout the days upon days, he visited all the landmarks of New York City. He would drift aimlessly from one side of the city to the other. Grabbing a basketball and shooting a few hoops…locking himself inside a video store and playing all the games on the shelf…taking glances at all the movies in stock.

One day he just sat out over the Statue of Liberty…sipping on a drink as he looked off into the distance.

And the sun shined. It was weird. The sight was beyond beautiful. To be able to see a site like this, the water cascading as the glimmers of sunlight bounced off of it. This was something him and his brothers dreamed about.

'Hell, we're New Yorkers. Why wouldn't we wanna be in the Stature of Liberty.'

He wished his family was here.

"God damn guys…you'd love this view. I mean, look at that? It's…it's…"

And as he looked off into the ocean, he was tempted….oh god he was so tempted.

'One jump…that's all it would take. One jump and this nightmare would be over.'

Shaking his head he tumbled back towards sanctuary.

There were moments where he thought about suicide…even before all of this happened.

Maybe it's part of teenage angst, only amplified by about a thousand when you're a Mutant Turtle.

Yeah he had dreams like the others…of course he did, doesn't anybody? But it's not like life is some fairy tale…happy endings and all that. He knew they'd die alone…no woman, no kids, no future.

And he hated…just plain HATED…that part of regular human existence would be taken away not just from him, but his family as well.

Raphael later found himself on some random street. While looking up into the sky, the hothead was tumbling down the street with a bottle in one hand and his sai in the other.

"THEY DESERVED BETTER YOU SON OF A BITCH."

As he continued stumbling down the long stretch of road…he wasn't one hundred percent sure who he was talking to…was it God? He wasn't much for belief in one…it's just he never thought much of it before.

But when you're on a quiet earth like this…thinking is about all you can do.

"Why do you keep fucking with us, huh? What did we do, except save fucking life after life? And what about all the other people, huh? What about all those kids and women, people who just wanted to fucking LIVE!"

Tears couldn't stop coming down his face now…these weeks had brought more tears than the countless years of his life. Taking another big swig…he took another deep breath as he trotted down the street.

"Yeah you think you're so big, huh? HUH?! You b..bi…big man with all youse….your bullshit. You hear that…BULLSHIT! You think you're so….."

And as he looked to the side….he realized he was beside a church. Well built, standing strong, with a cross hanging up above the doorway. Painted glass with etches of angels, disciples, and others.

It was funny…he actually remembered a conversation he and his brainiac brother had one time long ago. Raphael might not have remembered how it started…but he DID remember something about his brother telling him the meaning of his name.

Raphael….Meaning "God Has Healed."

Closing his eyes, remembering how his shy brother would look at him with warm eyes as he stitched him up from a recent fight…his 'Fearless" brother Leo hugging him and staring at him with pure love after he had been thrown off through a skylight in April's shop…and Mikey.

Oh God…how Mikey would be scared at night and ask to sleep in his room…so that Big Ole' Raphie could scare away the monsters of the night.

Opening his eyes, staring with bloodshot retinas that would scare the Devil himself to death…taking one last big swig until he screamed with all of his might…bellowing for the world to hear.

"FUCK YOU!"

Throwing with all his might, the bottle smashed onto the cross above the doorway….the few bits of liquid left from the bottle dripping off the monument and flowing to the ground.

He didn't care…he just didn't give a shit anymore.

"FUCK YOU…FUCK YOU….FUUUUUCK YOUUUU you piece of SHIT!"

After every breath and every saying, he through whatever he could get his hands on at the once symbol of peace and harmony.

Whether it be loose bricks, larger rocks, ultimately heading to stores and grabbing whatever he could get his hands on…all the time bellowing into the wind as he just wanted….no NEEDED to just smash this to kingdom come.

Panes of glass up and down, left and right became smashed to pieces as his firestorm of emotions continued.

"Give them back…..GIVE THEM BACK GOD DAMN YOU! Why did you leave me here…why…WHY ME? JUST TAKE ME ALREADY…I'M RIGHT HERE. C'MON."

Pounding his chest, thumping it over and over again…just daring, pleading…begging for an answer. This tirade of anger continued until all Raphael could do is fall to his knees….cradling his head into his hands.

"….I want my family back….please?"

"…..please….just talk to me….someone just talk to me….please?'

The only answer he got was silence…and once again Raphael broke down and cried.


	6. No Matter Where You Go, There You Are

Chapter 6: No Matter Where You Go, There You Are

After his little tirade of unsettling stress and unflinching anger being put upon at that church, all Raph could do was wander aimlessly...like a being without a soul.

He really didn't know where he was going. Throughout the weeks in New York, there were moments where he thought of leaving the city. Maybe going up to the farmhouse...maybe they would be up there.

But that was why precisely he DIDN'T want to leave...because if he went there and didn't find them, then it would confirm the zero hope he had of ever seeing his family again. It was like...even though with every fiber of his being that there was no chance in hell that they would or could be there...

There was always a possibility...even if it was between slim and none.

He guessed some would call it blind faith.

When he snapped out of his daze, he realized he had wandered back into the lair...why the hell did he come back here?

Eyes wandering over the empty space that had become his home...old memories floating around like ghosts of a forgotten life...

But God Damn it! It was only months ago in which everyone was fine...everyone was normal. Well normal in the Teenage Mutant Turtle variety.

He couldn't help but shuffle over to the bathroom, the effects of the alcohol from before still bearing on his somewhat lack of coordination. With a quick splash of his face, all he could do was look in the mirror. He realized his eyes had an odd discolor underneath them...must be from a lack of sleep.

And as he slumped to the floor, all he could do was whisper:

"Where do I go now?"

The farmhouse? Should he just go for it, like ripping a band aid off a wound? See the world and hope that somewhere, some_one_, would be out there.

Lifting his head up, all he could do was huff a harsh breath of air. His family WAS the world to him...he was just stupid to not realize it until now. No matter where he went, what city he found himself in...his family was gone...which meant his world was gone. So what point did it make to go anywhere if it didn't matter?

No matter where you go...there you are.

He couldn't help but chuckle sadly at that line...it was from some geek movie that Donnie loved to death. Something he watched almost religiously in their younger days...so much that Don even remembered lines of dialogue and just spouted them off left and right.

As his chuckle died down, he couldn't help but turn his head and eye the small razor just lying there on the floor. Slowly easing it off the concrete floor, he blew a tuff of dust off the now shining blade.

As tears formed in his eyes, the blade stared at him. He could see a small reflection of himself...the blade reflecting off of some light source. It was as if it was just DARING him to do something about it.

Taking the blade, he caressed the flat part over his wrist...just feeling the glimmer of metal grazing over the skin as he couldn't help but swallow.

"Just...one cut...," gulp, "just one simple...easy...nothin' cut."

A split second a voice screamed:

'NO RAPHIE!'

And with a startle he dropped the razor, and quickly jolted up...that voice...what the hell was that voice?

He knew the voice was in his head...but it sounds so much...SO DAMN MUCH like...Mikey?

As he glanced over the mirror, his eyes shot out, widening as for a long second he saw not himself...but his baby brother in the reflection.

His brother Mikey...bandannas flowing orange like the sun...his mouth smiling gently and his eyes warm and yet sad...almost as if they were feeling sad...for _him? _Tears were around those blue eyes of his baby brother, worry and a look of pleading on the baby brother's features, while Mikey's mouth moved but no sounds came out.

But before Raphael could contemplate any further, the image disappeared...the voice that echoed through his head not more than a minute ago was gone, and all he was seeing was his own self. His own breathing heaving now in the small bathroom, the emptiness making the sound echo.

"What the...hell?"

Is he going crazy...that must be it...HAS to be it...and yet why did he feel this warmth in his body...the only time he felt something like this was when...

...when he was with Mikey.

_Flashback_

_It was maybe a year go, a time when Mikey had been taken by one of their numerous enemies. Desperate to find their brother, the remaining three had done everything in their power to find their missing baby bro...but Raphael decided to go one step closer._

_Guns...his family never liked them and never wanted to deal with them. Raphael himself couldn't blame them. _

_But thinking of what could be happening to his baby bro...what sick and twisted things that he's heard from the news could be happening with his innocent best bud...it just ignited a fire that burned stronger than an inferno._

_At one time, they found a gang of drug dealers who the brothers knew...KNEW...that they had more than an idea of where there brother was at. The leader was a guy named J.T., a known drug dealer as well as rapist...it didn't take long for the brothers to clean house but that didn't mean the baddies were going to start talking anytime soon. J.T. just cussed and chuckled...he had heard of these 'hero turtles' and figured that they weren't going to do TOO much to them._

_Well, for maybe 2 of them he was right...but he wasn't expecting a riled up Raphael. All Raph could do was slowly pick up the shotgun that lied beside him...and after giving it strong pull he readied the weapon right at the thug's face._

_"Where...is...my...BROTHER!?"_

_Raph knew that his other two brothers were shocked at this...they wanted to find Mikey just as badly...but they honestly never had the killer instinct that he himself knew was buried deep within. He knew Leo would when absolutely, positively necessary to protect his family._

_But he wasn't going to fuck around...NOT when Mikey's life was on the line._

_"Fuck you freak, what are you gonna do...shoot?" Big mistake J.T._

_A blast at the kneecap made him scream and with widened eyes stared at the red-banded terrapin._

_"I'm not gonna ask again...my brother, where IS HE?"_

_All J.T. could do was spit a little blood at Raphael's plastron..."You a tough guy now...don't nobody talk, NOBODY...these guys talk big but they ain't gonna do shi..."_

_And a shotgun blast to the face was the last time J.T. heard in his miserable life._

_With a deafening, stunned silence a now blood splattered Raphael moved from perp to perp, aiming and threatening with questions and condemnations of "Who's next" and _

_"Where's my brother"...until one spoke up and told them the details of where to find their lost brother._

_Shortly after they had found there missing brother...helped mainly from a Raphael now possessed with bloodrage and thinking of only one goal...saving his brother._

_The aftermath wasn't too simple...he knew Leo was probably hating him for what he had done, and Donnie...he was probably scared to death of him from what he had seen. He hated that his brothers felt that way...but he couldn't blame them for it._

_But as he sat alone in his bedroom, he heard a door open. And there was Mikey, shyly asking if he could sleep in his room tonite. Saying he was shocked would be an understatement as to how Raph felt at the moment...he knew Mikey had seen Raph do some...bad...things during the rescue. _

_He also knew Mikey must have overheard talking about the whole affair with his Sensai...including how they got the information._

_Now granted it took a good long while for his other brothers to look at him the same way as before...Leo and Sensai weren't of course proud of it but...he guessed they came to understand it. Leo even cornered him one time much, much later with words of "I don't hate you, you know that right?" being repeated over and over again. He was surprised to later hear that Donnie wasn't scared of him. _

_His brainiac brother said that he was scared cause he saw a part of himself in Raph at that moment. Of course Raph just scoffed that off...but when Donnie finally opened up to what had happened to him when they all got separated into different time periods...and the genius started muttering about alternate futures, seeing us die off one by one, killing the Shredder with a deep seated hatred...all Raph could do was hug Donnie and was hugged back lovingly._

_But at this moment, at this time...none of that had happened yet. It was just thoughts of his family more than likely hating him for what he had done, for the monster he certainly was...and yet his baby brother wanted to sleep next to him. And of course Raphael said yes, and Mikey snuggled next to him and eventually hugged and cuddled up to him._

_He couldn't help but ask "Why?"_

_"Hmm, why what Raphie?"_

_"Why are you here? Aren't you...ya know...little scared of me or...maybe, hate me?"_

_And with a strong look all Mikey could do was say "Why would I think those things?"_

_"Because...look Mikey I know you saw and heard certain things...and we both know that despite all the teasin' I do to ya that you're not stupid."_

_For a long second Mikey just stared at Raph with his puppy dog eyes, as his arms curled around Raph in stronger hug, until his head settled on Raph's chest._

_"I was so scared Raphie...when they took me. They said that they were going to do horrible...terrible things...to me and to you guys...and if you guys weren't there sooner then...they might have..."_

_Mikey gulped as Raph smoothed the skin over Mikey's head and the oranged banded turtle couldn't help but nuzzle into the touch._

_"You...saved me Raphie...you did what you had to, and you saved me."_

_And with a genuine smile he looked up to his older brother, the one who he held as a hero his whole life. His best friend._

_"Remember when we were little and I got scared...and you chased and scared away the monsters so I could feel safe?"_

_All Raph could do was nod...if he said something he would risk breaking out and crying._

_"You never give up...you always keep going, no matter what bad things you see or have to do, have to go through...you...you scared away the monsters Raphie!"_

_And with a tearful kiss onto Raphael's cheek and a faint 'Thank you' he drifted off to sleep on top of his brother's chest._

_And all Raphael could do was breathe hard...blinking back tears as he kissed the top of his baby bro's head...Mikey's warmth covering him in such love and care._

_'No...thank you Mikey...thank you.'_

_End of Flashback_

With a start Raphael snapped out of it...blinking back the tears...he realized that the razor was still being held in his hand. And then he looked back into the mirror, that voice telling him no...that face.

'_You never give up...you always keep going, no matter what bad things you see or have to do, have to go through'_

And with a huff and a yell, he through the razor out of the bathroom, all the way across the lair.

As he trotted out of the bathroom, through the lair and onto the quiet streets of New York...he had realized it had begun to rain. Wet streaks of water from the heavens above caressed over his face, and he couldn't help but look to the sky and silently murmur to himself...

'Okay Mikey...I'll keep going.'

Within an hour, he had taken Casey's truck from their apartment and packed up an assortment of supplies, from food to old tokens from the lair. Standing next to the door of the truck, he took one last long look at the city of New York...his home for his whole life.

And as he started up the truck and drove past the countless blocks of the city, heading off to his first destination of the farmhouse...knowing this was the last time he would see his lair and home...the apartment of his friends April and Casey...every single place his life was stationed around...all he could do was utter one thing:

"Goodbye."

And he drove off into the distance.

...

...

But unbeknownst to the turtle...15 minutes after he left the city...a silent wave echoed through the city...a wave much like the waves of the ocean...only made up of wind and air...and it seemed Raphael wasn't the only occupant of the city for there was one pigeon left.

And as the wave passed, the pigeon in its' way disappeared...


End file.
